Tuesday, July 26, 2011

A Discourse on Wahabiism

Yesterday, an article came out about how the National Safety Council was 'worried' that Muslim religious leaders like former Perlis mufti Dr Mohd Asri, as well as several Umno ulama, were actually proponents of Wahabi teachings.

The story was interesting to me mainly because though I've heard the term Wahabi many times, I realised that I wasn't really sure what it was, what it meant or why the Malaysian government was so scared of it.

So, I took my question to that place where all questions are answered. No, not Wikipedia. Facebook. I put up a question on my wall and the result was a fascinating and stimulating discussion. I was touched and glad that so many of my Muslim friends took a lot of time and thought to actually guide me through what is obviously a very complicated theological subject.

I am reproducing the conversation here, verbatim, for easy future reference.


Marc Lourdes

Can somebody tell me why Wahabism is banned in Malaysia? I'm always hearing about it, but don't really understand it.


Norzilawati Ismail

a follower of ʿAbd al-Wahhab (1703–1792), who stringently opposed all practices not sanctioned by the Koran. The Wahhabis, founded in the 18th century, are the most conservative Muslim group and are today found mainly in Saudi Arabia....sorry if I'm wrong...:)


Marc Lourdes

Ahhhh...so if they're strict followers of the Quran, why are they banned in malaysia?


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

de most wahabi country is Saudi Arabia....byk cara mereka ni, berlainan Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah....but Malaysia dpt byk duit dr Arab Saudi....so.....


Marc Lourdes

So, in what ways are the Wahabbi's different from the Sunni Muslims here?


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

dalam mudah kata, WAHABI - pergerakan fahaman baru yang tidak selari dgn Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah (sunni).....


Norzilawati Ismail

Because their practices wasn't based by the Quran....Quran and Sunnah as the guidelines...they're away from it...


Marc Lourdes

Ahhh...okay. So they are considered more extremist in their beliefs?


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah (sunni) follow Quran, Sunnah, Hadis dan Ijtimak Ulamak.....dats de 4 roots paling penting......Malaysia adalah Sunni but most of de duit, come from them....
they r not ekstrem but some of their ways, terpesong dr cara sebenar......


Marc Lourdes

Ohhh...okay. Thanks guys!


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

what i can say, fahaman wahabi sudah lama meluas n ssiapa yang tidak mahir dgn ajaran Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah (sunni), memang x nampak perbezaannya.....tapi apapun, setiap penganut has their own right untuk memilih Ahli Sunnah Wal Jamaah (sunni), wahabi, syiah dan macam2 lagi...


Zikri Kamarulzaman

If we were a wahabi muslim nation, women can't drive.. or maybe that's just a saudi thing.


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

nope..wahabi xde kaitan dgn drive..itu undang2 sana je.....jgn terkeliru....


Zikri Kamarulzaman

oh ok. oh well, mazhab2, sunni, shiite, wahabi, ismaili blablabla, just too much political bollocks behind it if u ask me.


Marc Lourdes

No la. It's different religious teachings, which is a whole different kettle of fish altogether. Though, religion is often subverted for politics.


Petah Wazzan Iskandar

hehhe...dats ur opinion....dont worry k, its not political but ilmu yg diterima berbeza....yg uat politik ialag org yang mmerintah....


Ili Liyana Mokhtar

this is such a good discussion. Bertambah ilmu hari ni. Terima Kasih :)


Marc Lourdes

Ha! Itu la! I learned something i didn't know before today. :)


Sakina Mohamed


I actually have attended a few lectures with learned scholars from all mazhabs (school of thoughts) and found out many Malaysian Muslims are quite ill-informed about Wahabinism (including me). To spare unnecessary details, they were just a movement that brought people back to the ways of the Sunnah. The big no-no thing they did was get all Muslims to pray to one imam at Masjidil Haram (where the Kaabah is). Many Muslims don't know this, but there used to be four imam, each representing a mazhab, praying at once facing each side of the kaabah. This goes against what is taught by the prophet s.a.w. Some guy in the UK saw this as a chance to provoke Muslim disunity and unrest and spread this hoax called Wahabbinism that is so widely believed because it is perpetuated across the web. Most Muslims who have never met a real life scholar will only refer to magazines and the web, when they are actually more reliable sources. I am not putting down anyone, because what I said applies to me as well.


Sakina Mohamed

I urge anyone (Muslims or not) who have a question about Wahabbinism, to seek knowledge from scholars (ulama). Ulama are not your local ustaz. These are people classically trained in Islamic knowledge and many branches of fiqh, and they are familiar with all mazhab.

This is a very popular question at lectures, but I have never met a scholar that says Wahabbinism is against the sunnah. I might not do a good job explaining it here, but they will. Interestingly, Wikipedia gives an almost accurate description of Wahabbinism, though the followers never call themselves Wahabbi. They will say they are simply trying to get people to follow the sunnah (like levelling of graves, which is unpopular among Muslims who have poor knowledge of hadith and sunnah of the Prophet s.a.w). Sorry for the long post Marc Lourdes, hope it is useful.


Marc Lourdes

So they prayed TO the imam?


Sakina Mohamed

They pray like everyone else..to one imam in any one congregation. After Muhammad s.a.w and the caliphates died, people began to "innovate" Islamic teachings to suit their culture and lifestyles. It went on for centuries, until many people had little idea that what they were doing is against the sunnah. So this guy and his band of bros decided to set things straight and keep it real. Naturally, they became unpopular la. You know la, like election kotor for years, ppl used to money politics, tetiba a group of ppl nak change, you think those used to the "peace" nak give up without a fight? Even when they found out they were wrong, they still want to stick to it..so they spread this urban legend called "Wahabbinism" and propagate it.


Marc Lourdes

Fear tactics la tu


Sakina Mohamed

Well it worked. You know, Islam is about pondering and questioning. Even the oneness of God, we should believe because we have pondered about it, and that increases faith. Problem is when ppl repeat what they hear without verifying facts..


Marc Lourdes

Yup, true dat. Not enough rational analysis out there.


Weween Raja Adam

wow Sakinah, that is such a good explaination, THANK YOU. can i be ur friend? hehe


Weween Raja Adam

anywayz, marc - thought u might find this useful - http://drmaza.com/home/?p=​805#more-805


Weween Raja Adam

i agree with Sakinah. thing is, because Malaysia practices mazhab shafie and i wont say that is wrong but Islam is supposed to follow the Quran and Hadith/Sunnah (Rasullah's way of doing things) But sadly, it has been misinterpreted in so many wrong ways and whats even more screw up is because we have to make way for Muslim "head of state" who are probably arent Islamic themselves. So religion, instead of following the Quran and Sunnah, its being practice to suit the lifestyle and culture for the people in Malaysia. and then, u have people like Dr Asri who tries to correct that - than the authority play with the law to brand him as extremist. when he is actually promoting the Quran and Sunnah. Wahhabi is a "brand" to create fear. LIke u knnw, the Islam Hadhari and dunno lah how many more Islam brand out there. But Islam, is all about following the Quran and Sunnah.


Weween Raja Adam

Its so hard to make right a wrong that has been practices for generation in Malaysia or anywhere kan.. For example, Prophet Muhammad saw said "Do not celebrate my birth date and do not celebrate my death" (Hadith) but in Msia we have public holiday and we celebrate the Prophets Birth Date in a huge way that goes on for weeks. I wont say that is wrong but if Islam is to follow Quran and Hadith than why do we tokok tambah such practice? And when this kind of things are being pointed out, authority will straightaway say we are Wahabi. and suddenly jadi terrorist or againts Islamic teaching. anywayz, sorry such long post =) i need to vent the misconception after Dr Asri's case resurrected.. yet again. Sengal lah


Marc Lourdes

But in Islam, can one branch say another is terpesong and haram?


Sakina Mohamed

Weween, sure :)

Marc Lourdes- I'm not sure what you mean by branch..

all the four mazhabs were founded by four very learned Imam who were actually students and teachers of each other. They were not only extremely well-versed in the Quran and Sunnah but also science, algebra, philosophy, alchemy - u get the drift. The last of them was Shafiee (which Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore subscribe to). In my adulthood I learned that none is more supreme or correct than the other. The Shafiees tend to be more particular - we take a "better safe than sorry" stance.

Something can only be haram if it goes against what is prescribed by Allah and His messenger Muhammad s.a.w. You can't have just one of it. For example, if you believe in the Quran alone but not the sunnah, then it is clear that there is a deviation there.


Celia Alphonsus

This was a brilliant discussion. Thank you Marc Lourdes for asking the question, Sakina and the others for such insightful commentary. I am a little less confused now. You know..instead of getting old fogeys for inter-faith discussions...it should be people our generation.


Marc Lourdes

So, what is the basis for Malaysia proscribing wahabism? Does it really have a religious basis or is it merely a political game?


Marc Lourdes

Weween, Sakina - you guys should get to know one another. Y'all will get along famously, I'm sure. Two brilliant and very cool ladies. :)


Sakina Mohamed

You can bet your bottom dollar it's the latter :)

Celia - Why thank you, and you're welcome :)


Presenna Nambiar

If only we were all so rational and understanding when it comes to religion.. You guys are great :)

Laviinia Dhana
This was an enlightening read.... Thanks Sakina and Weween !!!


Celia Alphonsus

Marc Lourdes this should be documented for posterity somehow. You know as an example of rational, intelligent discourse.


Marc Lourdes

‎Celia Alphonsus One step ahead of you. ;) http://vitruvianman.blogsp​ot.com/2011/07/discourse-o​n-wahabiism.html


Celia Alphonsus

Hehehehe... ;) Excellent.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Yahoo! Malaysia's Question Time chat with Anwar Ibrahim

Here's the record of the Question Time segment Yahoo! Malaysia did with Opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim. It was Yahoo! MY's first such session and it was a roaring success. :)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Pursuit of Happiness.

I choose to not let people who want to hurt me, hurt me.
I choose not to be dragged down to the level of people who would do anything to damage me.
I choose to keep the good and ignore the bad.
I choose to love and not hate. 
I choose to be positive and not negative.
I choose to learn my lessons from the past. 
I choose to not be angry, afraid or bitter. 
I choose to be honest to myself and to others, even it doesn't serve my "best interests".

I choose to dream, to hope and to pray.

I choose to be happy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

More Important Than Life and Death?

Manchester United and Liverpool go head-to-head again this Sunday. The fixture, played at Old Trafford, is definitely THE league game of the season for any self-respecting United or Liverpool fan. Even the regional derbies, against Everton and Manchester City, respectively, fails to take on the significance of this battle.

It makes sense, as United and Liverpool are the two most successful clubs in English history, with 18 titles each. Liverpool has the better record in Europe and the League Cup, while United is the most successful team to participate in the FA Cup.

Though both clubs are now struggling to deal with the fallout from debt-fueled takeovers by mercenary owners, the game will still be played with nothing less than the usual amount of passion, aggression and fervour of players who know what the fixture means to the fans and the club.

Still, this game also brings out the worst in the fans and is one of the times that I am glad to be an Asian fan, able to appreciate the club while escaping the need to spew bile and venom at rival fans.

Liverpool fans have often mocked the Munich tragedy which robbed United of the Busby Babes. The jeers and cruel remarks are in poor taste and utterly disgusting.

A reference to the Munich airplane crash, where almost the entire United team were killed.


United fans are no better, with their refrains of "96 Scousers not being enough" and references to Liverpool fans as 'waffles'. I recently found out what the two phrases meant and was left feeling rather sickened.

96 scousers is a reference to the Liverpool fans killed in the Hillsborough disaster, which is still the deadliest football tragedy in British history.

The "waffle" comment is about the same incident, and is a "description" of the men, women and children who were killed when the surging crowd smashed them into the stadium fencing.
YSB stands for You Scouse Bastards. One United fan actually had this replica jersey done. Sick fuck.


Dissing the players, dissing the clubs, mocking the teams' failures - that's all fair game. Take the piss all you want. Bestow pudgy Rafa Benitez with unflattering titles like Fat Spanish Waiter. Call the un-beautiful Gary Neville Rat Face, if you will.

But jeering at losses of life, making fun of unnecessary tragedy - that's just off. Unfortunately, some fans seem to throw all sense out the window the moment they slip on their replica jersey.

After all, despite the competition and the rivalry, football - and any other sport at the end of the day - is just a game. It's not more important than life and death, despite what Bill Shankly may have once said.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Independence. Yeah, right.

Malaysia celebrated its 53rd independence day just over a fortnight ago. As always, there were enough parades, platitudes and shows of patriotism to make one gag.

The overwhelming displays of national pride, for me, usually results in paroxysms of public spirit. Most years, I would dutifully stand up and sing the national anthem, and thank God to have been born and to live in this land of milk and honey.

This year, something was different. Was it the cumulative effect of a largely crappy year? Was it a result of finally opening my eyes to reality? Was it overwhelming cynicism? I don't know. All I know is that there was only one thought in my mind most of the time; that Independence for a lot of people in this country merely meant a change from one overlord to another.

Is it an unfair statement to make? Perhaps. Can I be excused for feeling that way? Let's see. Malaysia is independent. Yet, I am still often told that I am a squatter, an immigrant. I am often told that I should go back to "my homeland" if I don't like the way things are run over here. The fact that I am a fourth-generation Malaysian whose family has been here for almost 100 years has no bearing whatsoever on things. As far as the government and a lot of the people are concerned, I am and always will be a second-class citizen who should be thankful that I'm "allowed" to live in this country.

My people are the poorest of the poor. They have no affirmative action policies in their favour, despite many of them being no better than slaves. My community has the highest crime rates, the highest alcoholism rates, the highest domestic abuse rates, the highest proportion of people in prison. While others grow fat and happy with their mouths firmly locked on the teat of Malaysia's bounty, there is an entire generation of my people dull-eyed and sullen faced, kicked in the teeth one too many times by a system and a country that has failed them.

Where's our place in the sun?
Thousands of us died laying the roads most people walk on today. Thousands spent their lives as bonded labourers in estates around the country. Thousands still do. Thousands served faithfully in the early civil service only to be later cast asunder as Malaysia forged its identity in this Brave New World.


With this as a backdrop, should I feel guilty for not frothing at the mouth with patriotism? Should I feel guilty for being less than enthused that "my country" has been independent for 53 years? Perhaps I should. But I really don't and really don't care that I don't.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

In Books, I Find Solace

Books are good. They entertain, educate and give me comfort. A book is always there for me. It doesn't judge me or decide it doesn't like me.
A book doesn't irritate me and I can't irritate it. I can't bore a book, though a book can, sometimes, bore me.
My books are my friends. Scratch that. My books are my family. They give me solace in my dark moments. I read my Khalil Gibran, or at times, my Bible, when I need words of wisdom and comfort. I read Calvin and Hobbes or Tintin when I want to laugh or smile.
When I crave tales of adventure or derring-do, I leaf through the glossy pages of my Supermans, Batmans and other costumed crusaders. Or, if I'm feeling more old school, I read my Poirots or gingerly pick through the dog-eared pages of my Robin Hood, written in Old English.
Sometimes, when I feel like a good caper or courtroom thriller, I decide to go for the Jeffrey Archers or John Grishams. And then there are the classics. Harper Lee, JD Salinger, the Johns Irving and Steinbeck.
I have a book for every mood. For when I'm feeling light and breezy or dark and dismal. My books don't let me down.
With a book, familiarity does not breed contempt. And absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
I know my books will never let me down.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Amazing Ibrahim Ali

Pasir Mas MP Ibrahim Ali is an interesting case study in politics. This man was a nobody, a person that didn't figure in the political equation, somebody who only got the Pasir Mas seat due to the good grace of Nik Aziz and Pas.

And now, all of a sudden, he's the man in the media. Why? Perkasa. One wonders if Ibrahim formed the fascist Malay supremacist group after reading Mein Kampf or after signing up for the Benito Mussolini Appreciation Society.

Still, love him or hate him, one has to admit that his shock and awe approach to politics has worked. While his grassroots approach - speaking at ceramahs and such - has worked, it is his media bombardment that has brought him and his abrasive ideology to the attention of the greater public.

Ibrahim thinks nothing of spamming reporters a multitude of times every day. He thinks nothing of sending racially sensitive "media releases" to non-Malay members of the media. To the distinguished (ugh) gentleman (double ugh) from Pasir Mas, it is completely alright to send a nonsensical, bigoted SMS about, say, the Chinese race, to a Chinese reporter in the hopes it would be published.

But anyway, here are unedited and previously unpublished examples of some of the messages Ibrahim sends out. My thoughts are attached at the bottom.





AUGUST 26, 2010 (4:06pm)

ULASAN UNTUK MEDIA: K'yataan KJ nak keluar umno(ST.TIMES 26ogos) kalau majoriti ahli umno sokong Perkasa adalah lucu..Apa penyakit KJ?sakit jiwa.Mungkin tidak d lantik sbagai Tim.Menteri, maka kecewanya sudah climax dan jadi Perkasa sbagai alasan.Saya rasa ramai ahli umno gembira kalau dia letak jawatan atau tingal umno,kerana semasa BAPA MERTUA nya jadi PM,operasi Tingkat 4 d JPM jadi isu,menyebabkan antara punca BN dan UMNO kalah teruk PRUI2..Pd saya,tanpa nya mungkin rakyat lagi senang hati pd UMNO..apa pun kesian dia.dulu besar kepala..skg bila BAPA MERTUA TAK JADI PM,maka taring dah hilang,merapu tak tentu pasal.ok.dato ibrahim ali.

My take: KJ richly deserves whatever shit is thrown in his direction, considering the way he behaved when his father-in-law was in power. However, Ibrahim's attack just shows himself up as a vindictive man absolutely devoid of class. Jibes like sakit jiwa and merapu tak tentu pasal indicate a very small mentality indeed. This SMS, is, more than anything else, a tirade against a person who dares oppose him. Echoes of Uncle Adolf, anybody?


AUGUST 24, 2010 (4:32am - seriously)
Kenyataan: POLIS D DESAK SUPAYA SEGERA DAN MESTI BERJAYA MENANGKAP PENGKIANAT YANG Baling CAT MERAH dan 4 BOTOL ARAK Keatas SURAU SIKAMAT.N9.Polis berjaya dgn cepat menangkap mereka yg cuba membakar gereja dan sudah d penjara. Kes buang kepala babi dlm mesjid d PJ belum ada tangkapan dan sudah agak lama. Dlm kes surau d sikamat Polis d gesa segerakan tangkapan. SOI LEK JUGA WAJAR D DAKWA Kerana Menghasut SPT MANA GESAAN TINDAKAN THDP. GURUBESAR Siti Inshah Mansor...sama2 kita tengok..tk.TOK HIM.PREKASA.

My take: Ibrahim seems to think that police produce suspects and arrests from those little manbags they carry. Or is he implying that police should just round up the usual suspects and "produce" an arrest. And the baiting of Soi Lek has resulted in MCA now adopting a more "ultra" approach. The wheels of the bus go round and round...until they come off.


AUGUST 22, 2010 (11:15am)
KOMEN saya thdp Koh Soo Khoon yg tegur saya (Ibrahim Ali P.PERKASA) suruh ambil tindakan positif memperbaiki nasib Bumi bukan dgn hanya bercakap & melukai hati kaum lain.TAPI KAUM LAIN TAK LUKA HATI KAUM BUMI KE? Isunya, sbgai menteri perpaduan, kenapa dia tak tegur cina csl n dia + lcu kena bertanggung jwb membuat melayu p.penang merempat.3O% HAK YG TIDAK ADIL sbb bumi 67%.Nyatakan pendirian.Soon Koon juga adalah 'dlm one force'anti melayu cara halus.SIAPA TAK Hurmat Sosial Kontrak iaitu I53 boleh keluar Msia balek negara asal nenek monyang.Jgn .HIPOKRIT. Drp Dato Ibrahim Ali.

My take: Koh made an entirely fair comment about the need for Ibrahim to do something proactive to improve the lot of Malays. The statement must have hit uncomfortably close to home for Ibrahim, who came out with all guns blazing. Interestingly, he didn't deny hurting the feelings of other races, but merely justified it by claiming that the others have hurt the Malays too. A little tit for tat eh? Ibrahim claims that 30% of the economic pie is an unfair "right" as Bumis constitute 67% of the country's population. Thing is, your economic station is life is not a matter of right. The amount you earn and have is dependent on how hard and smart you work, save and invest. And once again, the old "go back to the land of your ancestors" argument is wheeled out. It's an old, tired and stupid argument. Many non-Malays - such as me - are fourth and fifth generation Malaysians, which is more than can be said of a lot of people who claim to be Malay these days. But that's the problem when a race is defined along the lines of language, religion and custom and not bloodline, isn't it?


AUGUST 16, 2010 (1:00pm)
Note: To All MALAYS and  friends.'I5TH OGOS YESTERDAY PERKASA HELD PC OVER THE ISSUES 'DEMAND FROM CHINESE CÖNGRESS'..STAR AND ST.TIMES NO COVERAGE AT ALL. Star reporter attended.Star have their own ajenda.news dap,pkr or pas good coverage. STAR own by MCA..but no problems..malays pls take note..tq.

My take: The man has the nerve to demand that Star and NST actually cover him and allege a conspiracy theory against him when they don't. The reason why he isn't covered is simple. He is a racist and a bigot and the two papers want to give him and his cock-eyed doctrine as little newsink as possible.


JULY 2, 12:45pm (he sent the message FOUR times!)
Statement.:refer to star repot 2day page n22..... I 'm prepared to be detained under ISA anytime if the police believe perkasa or me detremental to coutry security.i have been twice detained under ISA even thou i defended strongly ISA must be retained.THIRD TIME ISA 4 ME MEANS PHD IN ISA. And if i'm been detained,i will not question the police as some peoples or group who will accused the police wrongly detained,the govt cruel and all kinds of accusation.i believe msia police act profesionally.So no problem with me at all.i will not run away,hiding or getting support from other country as other leaders did..i dare to face all challenges and take full responsibilty what i did.i'm also not kind of person who made statement without using brain and later seek apology.this are all cowards.k.tq. Dato Ibrahim Ali.PRESIDEN PERKASA.


My take: Being detained under the ISA would be the best thing that ever happens to Ibrahim. The detention would elevate him from an being bit-part player in the national political scene to a martyr for his cause. Images of Gandhi, Mandela and Anwar Ibrahim probably flashed through his mind as he sent out this message.










These messages are just snippets of Ibrahim Ali's media blitz. He has sent many, many more messages over the last few months.

It's interesting that Ibrahim Ali, a so-called "independent" MP, comes out so frequently in support of Umno. He doesn't hesitate to bash Pakatan Rakyat or BN component parties like MCA. But he has never wavered in his support and endorsement of Umno.

The easiest explanation would be that this is due to his ties to the party - Ibrahim did, after all, contest the 1986 elections on an Umno ticket.

Still, one does wonder if he is Najib's ace-in-the-hole, wooing for Umno the hardcore Malay electorate while Najib prattles on about his 1Malaysia policies in the (vain?) hopes of regaining the support of the non-Malays.

Only time will tell.

Monday, August 16, 2010

How Much Do I Love United? This Much.

1) I sincerely believe that the team responds to the psychic managerial commands I send it during matches.

2) My days and weeks are affected by United results. If the team loses, I have a fucked up time until they win again.

3) I didn't kill myself as a teenager because I realised that death would render me unable to watch United games.

4) My online nickname when I first started to go online was RyanTheDevil. I still use that nickname today.

5) I once participated in an online poll, where I admitted that I'd let Ryan Giggs shag my wife.

6) My grandfather's name just about edges Eric and Ryan as preferred names for my sons. And that too, isn't 100% certain.

7) I have passed the Ernest Mangnall test and look down on those who haven't. And don't even let me get started on those who don't know what the Earnest Magnall test is.

8) I've read the history of United. Numerous times.

9) I Google Manchester United several times a day. Just to make sure nothing goes on without me knowing about it.

10) I have managed United so much in Football Manager that they've demolished Old Trafford and built a new stadium called Lourdes Park in my honour.

And, if you're wondering why I always say United and not Manchester United, it's because there is only ONE United.

Glory, Glory!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The POINT of It All.

"Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?" by Paul Gauguin


It's probably the one question that's remained constant since the first caveman stood on his hind legs and began wanking. It'll probably be the last question the last man (or woman, let's not be sexist here) thinks before the earth:
a)  ends in a nuclear holocaust
b) gets zapped by creepy crawlies from outer space
c) is swallowed up by the sun's death throes
d) which actually is the galactic equivalent of salmon roe, gets gobbled up by a patron in a cosmic sushi bar

The question is, WHAT'S THE POINT OF IT ALL? It's a question that bugs me more often than not and now is one of those times. There's nothing like a long weekend, brought about by a bout of Friday illness, to turn one's mind to existential angst.

Seriously though, what's the point of it all? What's the point of waking up every morning, of dragging yourself to a job you either hate or are ambivalent about, just to make money to pay bills that you often generate in the course of your work? (After all, what's the main use of the car, other than ferrying you to work every day? How many business lunches does that gold card pay for?)

What's the point of getting into relationships, of getting married, of having kids if it only means that you're gonna spend the rest of your life struggling and slogging to ensure that your kids have the kind of middle-class upbringing and middle class education and middle-class approach to life that will only ensure that they too face more of the same challenges and problems and heartaches that face you now?

What's the point of going to your church/temple/mosque and pay your dues to God when there is no proof whatsoever that He/She/It is even listening? When's the last time that God came down from high to prove beyond a doubt that He/She/It exists and cares about what goes on in this globe?

Upon reflection, it sucks to live a middle class existence. Being born rich is, of course, brilliant. To want for nothing, to be able to live a life of indolence and never to have to worry about bills, or think twice about taking that family vacation or to have to save for a bloody year to afford a new TV set - that would be absolutely awesome. Yep, the rich have it good.

 Having been poor - and I mean really poor - I'd say one of its saving graces is that the hardscrabble existence leaves little time for any thoughts of a philosophical bent. Your thoughts are occupied by the here and now, as in, where do I go for my next meal and how do I make sure I have a roof over my head this time next month.

What's really fucked up about the middle class existence is that a person in this lifestyle, more than any other, is like a hamster caught in one of those fucking exercise wheels. There's simply no escaping it.

You want to leave your country and start over? Well, who's gonna take care of your aging parents? How are you gonna clear up your bills before you leave?

You want to leave the job you hate and pursue your life's dreams? Is it gonna pay as much as the job you hate? Is it even gonna cover the bills?

You want to learn a new language/skill/hobby? Can you fit it in between work/family/social commitments? Can you afford to give up those 14 overtime shifts in order to take up that Spanish course you always wanted?

Is this why, perhaps, that so many members of the middle class get caught up in movies/cigarettes/booze/drugs/etc? Each of these things, for better or worse, provides escapism, even if for a little while. And who could blame a person for wanting to escape the depressing humdrum existence that is the norm for most of us? Who doesn't want a life of pleasure, of adventure, of excitement, of deep insight and revelation, even if it's only for 2 hours and then too, only through chemical inducement?

Fuck it lah. Maybe life is just like Elbert Hubbard said - one damn thing after another. Or maybe it's more like Edna St. Vincent Millay's take - one damn thing over and over. Or maybe the point and purpose of life is closer to Agent Smith's opinion - "to end".

Edvard Munch thought life was a scream. 

Monday, August 2, 2010

Another Trip Down Memory Lane

Those old TV Pendidikan Sang Kancil cartoons sure did bring back a flood of sweet childhood memories. Not just from me, but from a lot of friends who saw the link I posted on FB. It was almost transcendental, the way so many people are affected and influenced by a shared childhood memory and the way it brought so many people from disparate backgrounds, areas and ages together.

The cartoons also reminded me of another treasured piece of childhood nostalgia - patriotic songs and jingles. And so I went a-searching on the Internet for what I could dig up. I found a few pieces, some of them in their original form, others not. Nevertheless, they were all delightful and more than a little sentimental.

What was sad though, was the cynicism with which many of the people reacted to them. They seemed to think it was all government propaganda and another evil Barisan Nasional plot, while it was in fact, nothing more than patriotic jingles or motivational tunes or civic songs. Oh well, some people will be haters no matter what.

For those that aren't, feel free to take another stroll down memory lane.

SEJAHTERA MALAYSIA


SENYUM SEINDAH SURIA


INILAH BARISAN KITA


FIKIRKAN BOLEH


SETIA





Saturday, July 31, 2010

Some People Don't Deserve to Live

I can't imagine what those poor children are going through right now. One of them has to contend with the fact that she was raped at the tender age of 10. The rest of the kids in that school bus have the trauma of having been made to watch the attack happen in front of their very eyes.

All these  children will have to live with the trauma for a long time to come, possibly for the rest of their lives.
The only good thing to have come out of this incident is that the bastard who did it was caught red handed, meaning that it's a case even our cock-eyed and calamitous justice system couldn't fuck up.

I only wish that the people who had caught him had killed him instead of merely bashing him up. I wish they had smashed his head to tiny bits. I wish they had cut off his privates with blunt and rusty knives. But even that's too good for monsters like him.

Now, I'm hoping that he is raped, repeatedly and violently, as he rots in prison. I hear they have some very "special" treatment reserved for the likes of him.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Business of Happiness

I consider myself luckier than many people when it comes to theme park experiences. I've had the good fortune to visit not only Eurodisney in Paris, but also Disneyworld in Orlando, Florida, which can quite accurately be described as the Mecca of amusement parks.

I don't know if it's the journalist in me that's being cynical or if its just the repeated visits to theme parks like Disney, Sunway Lagoon, Sentosa Island and Genting Highlands that's made be blase to the charms of this particular mode of entertainment.
Castle of Dreams or just a prettier and much more expensive Wal-Mart?

But whatever it is, I found myself depressingly immune to the charms these man-made Gardens of Delights have to offer. For example, at Genting, I'd notice how tacky the colours are, how the paint peels from the rides, how the mattresses in the hotel rooms seem to have suspicious stains of indeterminate origins and I'd make wise (or is that snide?) comments to myself about how the casinos are places where people go to murder and bury their dreams.

In Disneyworld, I'd observe how the hour-long lines morph into minute-long rides. I'd see that there is always a huge - and often, very expensive - gift shop at the end of every ride and around every corner. I'd moan about how expensive the price of entry to the theme park is and cattily say that fun and laughter is available only to those who can pay for it.

It's ironic then that when a gig to do a freelance assignment came my way recently, it was to cover the Asian Attractions Expo 2010 at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. Basically it was an amusement park industry trade show featuring all the gadgets, gizmos and gimmicks that come with the industry.

Frankly, I did it for the money. A boy needs to pay his credit card bills and I ain't gonna turn my nose up at making an honest buck any way I can. Funnily though, attending the expo made me reassess my feelings about the entire concept of theme parks.

It wasn't the funky exhibits - and trust me, there were many of those! - that made me change my mind either. It was the conference sessions, which I had been dreading to attend. (Conferences are usually - to me -  deadly dull things which tend to put me to sleep more often than not.)

But attending this conference made me realise one thing. The people running these shows do really want to make their customers (or, as they call them, "visitors" or "guests") happy. I tried to think of any other business or line of work which is targeted at giving joy to people and couldn't think of a single one. Music and movies come the closest, but their primary purpose is to entertain and not necessarily create joy. Plus, it seems just weird to think of dudes like Ozzy Osbourne bringing joy and light into people's lives.


Hmmm...wonder which of these two blokes makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside...


But as I sat there, listening to people like Noble Coker (apparently that is his REAL name!) from Disneyland Hong Kong and  Paul Pei from Ocean Park Hong Kong talking about how the main objective is to give people memories and how the idea is to ensure they have a good experience, it dawned on me that there really aren't many more noble callings than that.

Yeah, you heard me.I said "noble". No, I've not gone off the deep end. I'm saying that an industry which generated over US$11 billion in revenues in 2006 is noble. I'm saying that parks which charge you an arm, a leg and half a duodenum for entry is noble.

Not out of choice or out of any altruistic motives, mind you. This industry, like any other, has an eye and a half on the bottom line and profit column. Still, any business which aims to give me good memories and a lovely experience is alright in my book. And when I look back at the trip to Eurodisney with dad, or the visit to Walt Disney World with Hoon, I suddenly realise that it was pretty fun. That I did have a good time and create some lovely memories.

And that, to me, is worth the price of entry many, many times over. 

You Can Keep Your Upins and Ipins. Give Me My TV Pendidikan Any Day.

There's a whole generation of Malaysian kids that were weaned on the milk of TV Pendidikan. Yes, those were the days before 24-hour TV, before Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel.
Those were the days when cartoons were gloriously hand-drawn and 2D.


Jangan monyet...menyesal nanti...
Say what you want about visually stunning CGI and awesome modern special effects. I still think the old cartoons - local or foreign - had a charm that modern fare finds impossible to replicate.
I'm betting that those who've seen these videos before will be transported on a nostalgic trip down memory lane. And those who haven't, well take a look at this and tell me if this wasn't a more innocent time.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Football - The Beautiful Game


Jogo Bonito seems to have quite literally become The Beautiful Game.

The World Cup 2010 may not have tickled and titillated too many fans, with its low-scoring games, dour tactics and God-damn annoying vuvu-fucking-zelas.

Still, it has pushed the right buttons as far as one group of people are concerned.

The South African jamboree has sparked the interest of
beauty worshipping website, beautifulpeople.com
The website has recently published a list featuring the beauties and the beasts of this World Cup. And no, I'm not talking about WAGs and visiting celebrities. The website's list actually focuses on the players themselves.

Come on, let's face it. It's a common enough thing. Most of us have had to put up with fans - mainly women - who gush about how cute Stevie G is (the answer being: not at all!) or how they'd like to despoil Iker Casillas (who, I have to admit, is a good looking bloke) and how bewitching Kaka's dark, mysterious eyes are (excuse me while I go puke my dinner).

Well, anyway, visitors to beautifulpeople have appointed
Spain's misfiring forward Fernando Torres as this edition's official Adonis.

Joining him in the "most beautiful man" category is Portugal winger/ inside forward / gay icon /new daddy Cristiano Ronaldo. Torres scored a massive 7.81 out of 10 while Crissy wasn't far behind,with 7.52.

Other Greek Gods in the tournament include Kaka, French flop Yoann Gourcuff, Casillas and Spanish hotshot David Villa. All polled scores of above 7.

Interestingly, the teams that are considered to be collectively the most lovely to watch (and I mean that quite literally) are also the World Cup's finalists - Spain and Holland. If their beauty ratings are anything to go by (5.77 for Spain, 5.53 for Holland), the Spanish will just about edge Holland to the trophy.

And what about the beasties? Who are the ones who are considered the uglies? The kinds that wouldn't be able to score in a brothel?

Well, the most prominent names are Frenchman Franck Ribery, England's Wayne Rooney (whose summer seems to be going from bad to worse), Argentine striker Carlos Tevez and Spanish semi-final hero Carles Puyol. They scored a paltry 2.95, 3.28, 3.23 and 3.98 respectively. And you really can't argue with that can you? None of them have the kind of face you'd want to encounter in a dark alley at night.















But the award for the fugliest, the most un-lovely and the most unravishing teams belongs to North Korea and the Ivory Coast.

North Korea's soccer superstars' ratings range from 2.95 to 3.53 for an average of 3.26. The Ivory Coast, on the other hand, counts Didier Drogba as its best looking bloke, which pretty much tells you how tragic they are in the looks department (3.57 for the number-obsessed among you).

But then again, that's the beauty (THAT WORD AGAIN!) of football, isn't it? Or rather, that's the beauty of sports in general.

You can be the most goddamn ugly motherfucker around and still be a God. It used to be that way in music and acting, but both art forms are devolving into popularity contests and beauty pageants as time goes by.

Sport remains pure though. Where else would the Williams sisters shine? In what other line of work would Smokin' Joe Frazier have found fame and fortune? Shaquille O' Neal has a face that even a mother would have trouble loving.

But if you're a sportsman or sportswoman, none of that matters. It's all about your talent, your perseverance, your fighting spirit, your sportsmanship and the moments of magic that you create.

It doesn't matter if you're a bug-eyed Brazilian teenager scoring one of the greatest ever World Cup goals or an aging Cameroonian with missing teeth celebrating your goal by gyrating with the corner flag. People will worship you, people will adore you, people will love you and people will remember you.

And that, boys and girls, is why we love sport.