Bullshit, bullshit and yet more bullshit.

Is it just me or has my newspaper's claim to being the most literate (a position not too difficult to achieve in Malaysia) paper in the country gone to the dogs lately?

Yes, we are BN flunkies. But at least we've (almost) always been BN flunkies who wrote in polished, grammatically accurate and intelligent-sounding English.

The quality of the writing these days however - and this is down mainly to one culprit - has made us the laughing stock of many a reader, blogger and reporter out there.

Using multi-syllabic words and lengthy sentences is a tricky enough proposition when the writer knows what he's writing about and has a good command of the language.

When the writer doesn't and has, at best, a tenuous grip of English (and reality, judging by the content of his comments), the results are farcical articles couched in absurd turns of phrase (like 'Anwar Ibrahim moshes his way surrealistically to the House') and totally inappropriate usage of words (like 'cadre' to describe an individual).

Here's my particular favourite - 'If you are to base last week’s rampage of putting the blame solely on the MACC and implicating senior Government leaders, Pakatan Rakyat minions will insist no less than a guilty verdict, that some MACC perp pushed Teoh Beng Hock out of the 14th floor to his death for no reason other than wanting to torture the young man.'

Forget about the incredibly unwieldy length of the sentence. Forget about the weird choice of words and the inappropriate use of the second comma.

Just think about the last part of that sentence - 'some MACC perp pushed Teoh Beng Hock out of the 14th floor to his death for no reason other than wanting to torture the young man.' Is it just me or is pushing somebody to his death a little counterproductive to torture? I mean, you ain't gonna get no joy out of torturing a dead man, are you?

I can understand grammatical slips. I'm as guilty of bad grammar as the next person. Not all of us know when to use the semicolon instead of the comma, whether to hyphenate the words or not and when to use '...' instead of "...".

But what I don't get is why use so many big words when you can say the same thing more succintly and clearly with small words. What are people like this trying to prove? That they're clever? Even Hemmingway and Orwell were able to get by without the 'benefit' of such idiotic bells and whistles, for crying out loud!

If they would just google their name, they'd find out what people actually think about their 'command' of the language. I'd prefer to be repeatedly kicked in the balls while at the same time have root canal work done without anaesthesia rather than be subjected to an article like that. Seriously.

Even more baffling is how such shameful goings-on can...well...go on, with absolutely no intervention by the editors and the powers that be. Toeing the party line is one thing. Doing it in such a shambolic manner is another entirely. When us 'normal' reporters fuck up our articles, they usually end up on the wall of shame at the office. But when some people routinely inflict grevious bodily harm on the English language, the result is an online posting trumpted on the home page of the newspaper with the grand tag of 'Online Exclusive' attached. It would be funny if it weren't so damn embarrassing.

There are so many good and potentially good writers in the company. Writers with wit, grace, insight and charm. Many of our sub-editors are handy with a pen too. Yet, it is the grotesque work of certain twerps that we are promoting. Why? Why? Wwwwhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy????????

The paper is moshing its way surrealistically to the bottom of the junk heap.