The Goat-inator

WHen you've been friends with a person for close to two decades, you really know each other's sense of humour inside out.

Tareq and I have been childhood friends, being in the same school and after that neighbours too. Needless to say, we've taken shooting the bull and talking cock to a higher art form.

Our latest noteworthy episode was The Goat-inator.

It started because we were both bitching about how bad our salaries were and how much we needed to get out and make some decent money so we can enjoy the finer things in life.

As usual, Tareq came up with one of his brilliant suggestions (and I mean that in all honesty. His ideas are usually brilliant. It's just that we're too bloody lazy to follow up on them..).

This time it was to go into goat farming. As he told me (and as I confirmed later), Malaysia's goat supply only accounts for 25% of our need, which means it is a gold mine waiting to be tapped.

And so, we began to fantasise.

We will open a goat farm somewhere in Nilai or Seremban or something like that. And slowly, through sheer hard work, we would turn our business into a raging success.

We'd then broaden our scope and start taking over other goat farms. We'd first conquer Negeri Sembilan. Then The whole south and from there the rest of the country. Once every goat farm in the country belongs to us, we'd go international. (Don't ask for specifics on how we'd do it. it's just a fantasy, okay!)

So, eventually, we'd own every single goat farm in the world. And we'd own every single goat in the world. We'll be sitting pretty on a pile of money and all that jazz lah.

Meanwhile, (ooohhh... I've always wanted to use "meanwhile" in a story. It's so comic book-ish!) in another planet (or it could be an alternate future, take your pick), in which goats are the dominant species, we have been branded as the anti-Goat and the great satan for ou role in holding all the goats of the world in bondage.

Thus, a lone goat warrior is chosen to be sent back to our time (or is that to our planet?) to exterminate us and free all the goats of the world from bondage. This chosen one has the ability to shape shift and thus infiltrate our lives without us noticing.

He can not only alternate between all breeds of goat and sheep, but also assume the form of the various pak haji, Fred Durst, Lenin and various other goateed folk around in his bid to finish us off once and for all.

So the story went something like that la. I wonder why it seemed much funnier when Tareq and I were giggling about it. Now it just seems lame and pointless.....

Oh, and the Goat-inator's catchphrase would be "I'll be baaa-ck"