Facts. Of A Sort.

Idle minds are the devil's playground. And it seems my mind is very often idle these days. So, in order to avoid Lucifer, Beelzebub and co moving in, I've taken to reading FACTS. (Facts to be pronounced with raised eyebrows, pulled down lower lip and exaggerated haughty voice. Why? Coz they are FACTS!)

I would describe these facts as useless, except that I'm sure that somewhere out there a sociologist/anthropologist/zoologist or whatever-ologist is creaming his panties over these esoteric grains of knowledge.

Here are said facts - in bold - with my humble opinion - not in bold, since it is supposed to be humble - attached.









The housefly regurgitates its food and eats it again.
A very useful ability. Gross, and bound to ensure a barren love life, but has anybody ever
heard of a housefly that died of hunger?





Some sailors believed that if there is a cat on a ship, it means it is a lucky trip.
Didn't they also believe that having a woman on a ship was considered unlucky? So what if it was a female cat?



Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was named Lew Alcindor when he was born.
Lew Alcindor just doesn't have the same ring to it. Say it after me now. Karrrrreeeeeem Abdoooooool Jabbbbbbbbbarrrrrrr...










Fingernails grow about 3 times faster than toenails.
Chew on that!




Cher wore braces as an adult.
And the Osmonds obviously didn't...




The Poison- Arrow frog can kill about 2,200 people.
May I add a few of my gruesome ex-bosses to your hitlist, Mr. Poison-Arrow Frog, sir?




Notaphily is someone who collects bank notes.
And a necrophilly is?




Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US President whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal". William Jefferson Clinton is the 2nd.
There's really nothing to add to this, is there?







The only insect that can turn its head 360 degrees is the praying mantis.
That ain't nuffink! Linda Blair can do that AND spit out a pint of green pea soup!




At Disneyland they have hundreds of wild domesticated cats running around the park. They never come out during the day because there's too many people, but the reason they're there is to catch the mice.
Okay, this is literally like something out of a...well, Disney cartoon!




An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
Something tells me the tango never made it big in Bellingham.

When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole".
Is this Chinese code language for "suck my dick"?

The hundred billionth crayon made by Crayola was Periwinkle Blue.
There are more than a hundred billion crayons??? There's a colour called Periwinkle Blue???

Charlie Brown's father was a barber.
And Charlie Brown had, what? Three strands of hair? The irony is beautiful, innit?

In the movie "Toy Story", the carpet designs in Sid's hallway is the same as the carpet designs in "The Shining."

As if the idea of your toys coming alive at night isn't freaky enough by itself...

Clinophobia is the fear of beds.
Well, it could have been worse. Imagine if it was clitophobia.

Sigh...I'm getting neither funnier, nor wittier, am I?